Why Are You Sad?
A scientifically questionable investigation
Is it hormones? Seasonal? Or are you just genuinely, historically sad? Take our dramatically over-analyzed quiz to find out if your sadness has excellent timing or if it's here to stay.
⚠️ This is for entertainment. Not medical advice. If you're genuinely struggling, please see real resources.
What's Your Sadness Type?
We'll help you figure out if your sadness is hormonal (excellent timing), seasonal (blame the sun), or genuinely persistent (ouch).
Hormonally Tragic
Your sadness arrives like clockwork, 7-12 days before your period. It's not you, it's your progesterone.
Seasonally Betrayed
October to March is your villain origin story. When the sun ghosts at 4pm, so does your serotonin.
Genuinely, Historically Sad
Your sadness doesn't care about calendars or cycles. It's been here since 2019 and it's not leaving.
How This Works
Answer 15 deeply personal questions
We'll ask about timing, symptoms, rage levels, and your relationship with carbs.
We scientifically over-analyze your answers
Based on real markers for PMDD, SAD, and clinical depression (but make it funny).
Get your dramatic diagnosis
Percentage-based results + survival kit + when to actually seek professional help.
What People Are Saying
"87% hormonally tragic. Finally, scientific proof that I'm not just being dramatic."
— Sarah, 28
"Turns out I'm 92% seasonally betrayed. Buying a sun lamp immediately."
— Emma, 31
"I cried in the cereal aisle AND got validated by a quiz. 10/10 would diagnose again."
— Alex, 26
Ready to find out?
Your sadness has been waiting for this moment. Give it the scientific validation it deserves.